Here’s the 
problem with

WORDS

You and I got hit
with around 30,000
yesterday.

How many do 
you remember?

Yeah. 

Which begs 
the question. 

Why do
some words
stick in our heads?

But most don’t? 

Well, to answer that question,
I have to use some words.

POOF

There’s
a word that’s fun
to read.

BOOM 

There’s another.

OOPS

I did it again.

The first two
are onomatopoeia.
The last one’s an
interjection.
All three have 
double O’s.

NO SHIT
SHERLOCK

is a phrase 
I’d like to bring back.

It’s alliteration.

Which is why
 

NO SHIT
EINSTEIN

doesn’t work. 

And why

IT’S BRITNEY 
BITCH

does.

Here are 3 great names for a hero:

BATMAN

bILBO

barbie

I used alliteration on you again.

Also, the letter B
makes interesting words.

Also, I’ve been using
The Rule of Three.

But more on that later.

Let’s look at this sentence:

I HAVE AN IDEA.

Which of the following adjectives
makes the sentence stronger?

A) I HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA.

B) I HAVE A KILLER IDEA.

C) I HAVE A BIG IDEA.

Answer:

D) NONE OF THEM

Adjectives are weak.

If we’d chosen a better Noun
we might have written this:

I HAVE A DREAM.

Moving right along.

Here are 3 words 
that are funny 
all by themselves:

LEOTARD

HERNIA

SHART

Here are 3 words 
that are scary
all by themselves:

LEOTARD

HERNIA

SHART

Context is everything.
Or, it all depends on who sharted
their unitard.

Here’s a word 
nobody wants to hear:

NO

Here’s a word 
that starts wars:

GOD

Here are 3 words
that change everything: 

I LOVE YOU

Back to The Rule of Three.

Our stone age brains are wired for it.
That’s why you can fill in 
all these blanks:

BLOOD, SWEAT, 
AND ______

THE FATHER,
THE SON, AND the
______

BACON, LETTUCE, 
AND _______

Three’s the magic number
because it’s the quickest way
to form a pattern in our heads.

Two is just a pair.

And four, as proven in combat
by the United States Marine Corps,
is too many things for us to remember.

When you use The Rule of Three in comedy, the first two thoughts make the pattern, and the third breaks it.

It’s been explained as:

MONDAY
TUESDAY
BANANA

Here’s a classic 
from the Simpsons:

ME?
FAIL ENGLISH?
UNPOSSIBLE.

Here’s Phyllis
from The Office:

I’m glad michael’s getting help.

he’s got a lot of problems.

and he’s stupid.

And Christopher Walken 
from the SNL skit:
 

I’VE GOT A FEVER

AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION

IS MORE COWBELL

You don’t have to use 
The Rule of Three.

You don’t have to use 
any rules at all. 

But, of course, you do.

Here’s a rule used
by everybody from 
David Ogilvy to will.i.am :

WRITE LIKE
PEOPLE TALK

Here’s one from 
Kurt Vonnegut:

MAKE EVERY CHARACTER
WANT SOMETHING,
EVEN IF IT’S ONLY
A GLASS OF WATER. 

And one from 
Anne Lamotte:

WRITE LIKE 
YOUR PARENTS 
ARE DEAD. 

Melodramatic?

Nope.

People write trash
because they’re afraid 
to write the truth. 

And readers 
always know
when you’re full of shit. 

Speaking of full of shit,
Chat GPT knows all these words:

EAT

LOVE

PUNCH

LOATHE

SWEAT

CHOKE

CHUG 

GRAB

GULP

SNORT

TONGUE

FREAK

BETRAY

BLUSH

BOOGIE

DREAM 

DIE

but it won’t ever do
any of them.

It can’t feel
any of them. 

Let me let you in
on a little secret.

Nobody gives a f*ck 
what you think.

But people will care
how you feel, 
if you can make
them feel it. 

Writing is a fight
because life is a fight.

You will start out in the dark.
You will give up in the dark.

You will suck
and as you’re sucking, 
you will think to yourself,
I suck.

If you stop,
you’ll be right.

But if you keep going,
and cut the crap
and get your 
first world fingers 
to type something true
because it’s you,
well, then, yeah.

Words are a magic spell
only a few people 
know how to do. 

Words matter now 
more than ever.

You can talk all day long.
A lot of people do.

But if you want 
other people to listen,
you have to 
earn it.